Weird Tipping Beliefs

Please don't practice weird tipping.  Tip on the total of the bill.  Include the tax, drinks, and desserts.  Twenty percent is the standard, folks, but feel free to up it.  The server doesn't know what's going on inside that twisted mind of yours.  Your dysfunctional beliefs might make perfect sense to you, but to the rational mind you come off as a cheapskate.  Servers are not mind-readers.  If they were, they surely would never be foolish enough to get within your arm's reach.